The Key to Making Lasting Change

We’re now six weeks into the New Year, a perfect time to pause and check in. How's it going? Are you on your way to fulfilling the goals and intentions you so enthusiastically set forth as the calendar page turned?

Whether we have been smoothly and steadily making our way through or have found ourselves meeting lots of obstacles, now is a good time to reflect on what is working for us and what is not. Remember, lasting change doesn’t occur overnight. It takes time for new habits and ways of being to form, and no matter how many times you have to begin, the good news is that we can always start over!

To truly foster a new habit or way of living, we must first implement new actions. These actions must be repeated every single day. Simply envisioning or wishing for change doesn’t work. True and lasting change occurs at the cellular level, in our physical body and in the neuronic pathways of our brain. It is only after this that we can tangibly see it in our outer experiences. Just a few weeks ago, I had a very clear and visual representation of this.

Near my house is a recreational trail I walk daily with my dogs; we go for almost three miles. A few weeks ago, we had 10 inches of snow fall overnight. I knew the deep powdery snow would make for a difficult walk, but my dogs and I were eager to head out, so off we went.

To get to the trail, I first have to travel down my street, cross the highway, and then walk down a long windy private driveway – all of which had been plowed that day, easy peasy.

But as soon I stepped onto the trail, I immediately regretted my decision to go. Walking through soft, deep snow is incredibly hard! For those of you by the ocean, imagine walking in sinking sand.

So, there I was, standing at the precipice of the trail, casting my gaze on the unending trail of whiteness that lay ahead. How I desperately wished I had brought my snowshoes.

I walked just a short distance before I stopped. Filled with overwhelm and a sense of defeat, I considered giving up. Just as I was thinking of turning around and heading back home, my eye caught movement from a distance up ahead. An enthusiastic black lab was effortlessly bounding towards us through the freshly fallen snow, his owner jogging not too far behind. This sight completely renewed my spirit. I took a deep breath and onward I went.

As our paths met, I couldn’t help but notice the trail of her footprints behind her. I decided to follow them, carefully stepping in her tracks as I continued to walk. It was still quite difficult, but the imprints somehow motivated me to push through. Step by step I forged my way to my usual turnaround spot and then began the trip back.

By the time I arrived home, my clothes were drenched from sweat and my legs felt like jello. But despite the challenge, I felt vigor in my spirit. Gratitude seeped in for completing something difficult and in choosing not to give up.

I went out again the next day. To my surprise, I discovered that at least a couple of other people had traveled the trail after me. I saw that their footprints added in on top of mine, had begun to carve out a faint, but recognizable trail in the snow. With each passing day, everyone seemed to travel the same narrow path. Little by little, the trail became more distinct. By the end of the week, the “snow trail” was set and boy was it easier to walk!

Witnessing the transformation of the trail in the snow, made me realize that this is exactly what happens in our brain. When we set out to do something new, we are forging a new neuronic connection, a pathway that never existed before. And in the beginning, it might be hard! But the only way to create and strengthen this new neuronic connection, or “highway” system in our brain, is to repeat it. To do it the same way, over and over again.

If we don’t consistently repeat, or we keep changing the way we do it, the pathway cannot be established. It will easily disintegrate and fall away. Think about what would have happened if every person who walked the rec trail took their own path. We’d have multiple pathways and none that integrated into a trail system. The struggle to find solid footing would have continued, perhaps leading one in to giving up all together.

So, my friend, if you started this year with a new commitment, but have faltered, I hope this inspires you to begin again. It will be hard in the beginning, know that. But also know that if you keep going, it will get easier, and it won’t be long before what was new, is now part of who you are.