Creating a Healthy Relationship with Stress

At the start of every New Year, conversations about resolutions, intentions, and goal setting inevitably arise. This topic is posted online everywhere, with people sharing their hopes for the new year and what they want to leave behind from the previous one.  

A recurring and unanimous theme for many is to "stress less". People have been searching for ways to de-stress, manage stress, and avoid stress year after year. But what if I told you that stress itself isn’t always the problem? What if I told you that stress is actually necessary to survive?

Recently, I listened to a podcast that shared a scientific study on single-cell organisms and the effects of stress - or rather, the lack of it. These organisms were given a homeostatic environment, which means their environment contained the absolute perfect conditions - zero stress. Surprisingly to the researchers, every single cell died. The researchers learned that the cells could not survive without environmental stress..

The same is true for us. Our survival, growth, and evolution are dependent upon stress. Stress challenges us to be creative, innovative, and contemplative. It motivates us to move beyond our comfort zones and do things we may initially perceive as impossible. Stress increases our capacity for resilience and endurance - physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Consider your asana practice on the mat. Every time you stretch or contract a muscle, it undergoes stress. How you stretch and strengthen determines the outcome of that stress. Over time, we either become stronger and more flexible or if we haven’t been mindful of our movement, it can set us up for potential injury.

Stress is a valid concern to have, but we first need to understand what kind of stress is harmful to our health and well-being, and similarly, what kind of stress allows us to adapt and grow. Within this concern, we should also prioritize learning how we respond to stress and ways we can improve our response. This is how we can create a healthy relationship with stress.

We will always encounter stress we can’t control, so it’s important to ensure we have mechanisms or tools to help us manage when it occurs. Practices such as mindful movement and exercise, meditation, breathing, and prayer play essential roles.

But surrendering to what is and paying attention to how we respond allows for the greatest relief. We can ask for grace and guidance to carry us through. We can choose to have faith that all will be well or bury ourselves deep in the strain of worry. Neither can change the circumstance of stress, but our choice will change the quality of our experience.

It is in the silent space of surrender, where the challenge of what we can’t control, moves us into a place of creativity. In letting go of what we can’t change, we gain clarity of what we can. We find innovation for something new, tapping into what’s already within us, just waiting to be discovered. This leads us to the next step of rising and moving forward in our evolution. But in moving forward, we must also have the resolve to eliminate unnecessary stress.

In yoga, we learn that our journey on the mat and within our body begins first with knowing where we are. It’s a moment where we pause to meet ourselves in mind, body, and spirit. It’s a moment where we look deep within to truthfully answer:

How am I taking care of myself?

Do I get enough rest?

Do I move my body regularly?

Do I eat foods that nourish me?

Am I mindful of how I eat?

Do I choose with discernment what I watch and read?

Do I pay attention to how and what I give my time?

Do I pay attention to how I speak to myself and others?

These are choices that can lessen or remove the stress harmful to our well-being and give us the strength, endurance, and courage to act upon our innovation and evolution. To me, it's not enough to state my vision, intention, or goals for the new year, if I first haven't given time to reflect upon the above questions. Being aware of the current quality of our life and the choices we make, while committing seriously to improving those choices makes all the difference.

So friends, let us stop stressing about stress and work to begin a new relationship with it. May we understand its usefulness to grow and expand our greatness.

"Stress is not what happens to you, it's how you choose to react to it. Choose wisely"